Motivated by Ideas

Today’s Daily Writer assignment is to start a file of ideas; they suggest index cards, but that sounds like a mess, so I’ll maybe try a notebook or a folder on my computer. That doesn’t make for a very interesting blog post …

I took a couple days off from writing over the weekend and worked on revising a novel I’ve been working on rather lazily for the past several years. I wrote the first pass during NaNoWriMo November 2010. I got 50,000 words on the page in just over three weeks. It wasn’t quality, but I hit the quantity goal and was proud to finish.

Since then, my life has changed considerably. I have changed too. My child was diagnosed with brain cancer just three months after the contest ended. While living in the hospital for months, my writing focused on daily blog entries about her progress, hospital happenings, or just little things about the intense experience I didn’t want to forget. People loved reading my writing at the time Many people followed the blog closely until recently — about 6 months ago, when I stopped writing all together after several long periods of not posting anything.

I feel like I could fill an entire box with ideas for motivation just thinking about the time between the novel and now, I’m just not sure I want to. As I ready myself for another scan in a couple weeks, I find that while I was finally starting to open up and recognize my feelings of loneliness, fear, and even despair, I have once again begun carefully tucking them away — or maybe just jamming them into an already too full suitcase of repressed emotions.

My idea file might remain thin — or maybe it will never happen. At least I’m writing again. Even if my ideas aren’t so novel (pun intended), I’m writing, and sometimes just showing up is all that counts.